It gives me wonders. Do people really remember the moment when they first met each other? The exact date, the exact time, the exact season and the exact emotions?
I’ve always stumbled across scenes in movies where the man reminisces back the first time he met his partner or lover in a very precise way. As in, “Remember the first time I met you? 11th April 1965, it was slightly rainy. I was sitting in an old cafe, sipping my cup of coffee by the glass window. That’s when a beautiful woman came into my sight. You were in a dark red dress, extremely drenched in the heavy rain and you were running towards me. Maybe it’s the rain or maybe it’s the dress but I swore I’ve never seen such a gorgeous lady in my life.”
Okay that’s enough of the cheesiness but yeah, that’s one of the examples. Perhaps it’s just me because I sometimes couldn’t even recall what happened last week. In Malay culture or what they claim as our ancestors’ sayings, if we always forget things, that means we accidentally ate too many ants. Well, everyone knows it’s just a myth to scare the toddlers. Duh.
But then, a brilliant inspiration flew into my head.
People remember things that they love to see, hear or feel.
I mean, it does make sense. Who wants to remember the things that they don’t like. Haunted house, enemies, heartbreaks, pain, sadness. It’s annoying to let them stay in your mind.
That answers the question how people can remember exactly their happiest moments. Because they love it, they cherish it and they don’t want it to ever be blurred. Everytime they see the faces they shared the moments with again and again, those same emotions and everything else come together with it. Which makes it more permanent. REPETITIONS.
However, it’s also true that pain and all those memories you refuse to recall can make a huge impact, you can’t seem to erase. Those moments which made you feel incapable of feeling happiness and going on another day with that emotion was probably the worst thing ever. All of us must have experienced it at least once. Regardless of the kinds of situations.
So, I came up with a little so-called self-experiment. I tried to calm myself and gather all memories I could remember. Then, I compared the good ones with the bad ones. And turns out, I could still recollect the same excitement and joy I had with my good memories. Like, I still can feel the similar happiness when I see my mom again after a long time. Or the similar fun when I go to the beach. Nonetheless, I couldn’t feel the same emotions with my bad memories. For instance, someone broke my trust and I was quite furious. But, I could somehow feel the rage is subsiding over time. Perhaps I choose not to think about it anymore. And my beloved cat, Tom passed away two years ago which made me bawled. I still get pretty sad when I think about him but I don’t bawl anymore.
Therefore, you don’t have to be in the depth of despair when bad things happen. It will fade away after a while. And someday, you’ll look back and you will not feel the same way again. In fact, you’ll feel a whole lot better. As for the good things, well, TREASURE THEM.
“Sometimes, you’ll never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”
– Dr. Seuss –